


Stargazing

by missema



Series: Allyse Shepard, Space Cadet [15]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Bonding, F/M, Fluff, Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-20
Updated: 2012-03-20
Packaged: 2017-11-02 06:00:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/365717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missema/pseuds/missema
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Allyse Shepard is reunited with Kaidan in this story that takes place during ME3.  Shenko fluff.</p><p>Spending the night with Kaidan, he reassures Allyse, who wonders about more than just the war.  Kaidan reflects on the changes in the woman he's loved for the past three years.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stargazing

"What are you thinking about?"  Kaidan was next to Allyse, curled into her side, laying in bed.  Under the blanket had gotten too warm for her, and she'd shifted to laying flat on her back with her feet sticking out of the other end, trying to cool off a little.  This was the way she loved to be, just together, her and Kaidan.  It felt like a triumph, after so much time apart, so many things going wrong in the galaxy.  In her bed, they could be any couple, at any time, almost normal.  He was messy haired and sleepy eyed, one arm thrown over her relaxed body in a casual way.

"You know me, I just like to look at the stars."  Allyse answered, reminding him of one of their first conversations on the original Normandy.  Shepard had asked him if he signed on for the romantic dream of man traveling the stars, and he'd admitted that it was part of the appeal of the Alliance, at first.  Like so many kids, he'd read the novels, saw the vids and bought into the fantasy of space travel, life amongst the stars.  Later on, she'd confessed to him how much she loved the stars too, seeing them from different places, traveling amongst them, telling him stories about her childhood on Mindoir and how she used to watch the night sky there.

"I do, and I know that mind never turns off, not even when presented with a breathtaking vista of stars that can only be witnessed from your bed.  So spill it, Commander."  He poked her in the side to punctuate his words, a fingertip pressing into the side swell of her breast.

" _Commander_?  I had no idea we were so formal, Major."  She joked to buy herself time, trying to wrestle her errant thoughts into something that could be expressed.

"I could make it an order."  Kaidan smiled at her, and though she wasn't looking at him, she could hear it in his voice, the expression coloring his words, giving them a lilt that hadn't been there before.

"No need, Kaidan.  I was just thinking about how we spend our time traveling our own system, what we call the Milky Way, when there are countless over galaxies out there.  There is so much - so much space, vast amount of potential, of life.  And here we are worried about the Reapers and our little corner.  It seems at once too much and not enough, do you know what I mean?"

He was silent as he thought about it.  Allyse was constantly surprising him, even now and this line of thought - well it wasn't what he'd been expecting from her.  Relationship questions, reassurances about their chances, thoughts and hopes for saving Earth, those things were what he was thinking of, not anything quite so lofty.

But she was different now, and he'd be a fool to not acknowledge it.  Before Allyse had been this remarkable marvel, young, deadly and bright as a beacon, ready to impress.  The title of first human Spectre couldn't have gone to a more worthy candidate at the time.  Time had tempered her, changed her, as it had with him.  Like a blade being continuously honed, worked on by a master, Allyse had morphed into something even more impressive than she'd been when they'd met.  She was quieter, more contemplative, and mistakes were fewer but taken harder.  At first he'd wondered how much of the change had to do with Cerberus - back on Mars it was as if his laughing, playful Allyse was permanently gone, replaced by this soldier woman that had seen too much and spoke too little.  Out here fighting, he could finally understand the war had caused the change in her, because it changed him too.

And they as a couple were altered, not just because of her, or him and their time apart, but circumstances  and the fate of the world took their toll on the relationship, making them both reckless and cautious.  Reckless in their need for each other, cautious about the future.  Things between them felt more permanent, their bond deeper with every night spent together.  It was these nights that brought her smile back, and she laughed more alone with him, treating him to the flurry of giggles he'd once thought he'd never hear again.

Kaidan still didn't know quite what to say to her.  Allyse was never one to just let him off with an answer that she wanted to hear.  If she'd voiced the thought, it was worth discussing seriously.

"I know what you mean.  But when all you've got is one thing, when all you know is this one little place, you'll fight like hell to keep it."  He finally answered.

Allyse looked at Kaidan, rolling to her side to look him in the eye.  Lately she'd been feeling too wound up, thoughts welling in her head, pooling in her mind and overflowing and she'd been unable to stem the tide alone.  But Kaidan, he was comforting without even knowing it.  Just being with him was calming, every touch a reassurance and a gift.  She knew he was listening, thinking about what she'd said.  It made her feel connected, human, to have him hear her witless ponderings, to treat it like it was something worth actually talking about.

"Is that why you're here, Kaidan?"

"Partly.  There's no way to sit this fight out, and if I can't be on Earth, I only want to be with you, fighting at your side."  He sat up in bed, letting her move in closer to him, resting her head on his bare chest.  She was still flushed with warmth, her legs tangled with his, her heated skin igniting his with every touch.  "But in all the vast out there, all the places we've already been and the places we'll never get to explore, there's only one you and me.  It's worth fighting for, worth saving."

Allyse grabbed his hand under the blanket, lacing her fingers through his.

Some nights, like tonight, his reassurances were enough.  The awful dreams would be put to rest, and she'd stop worrying, hoping, praying, for long enough to sleep.  It was only her nights with Kaidan that kept her sane in the middle of this mess.


End file.
